For Women: Keep Your Marriage Healthy After The 30 Year Mark

couple-married-30-yearsEven in the beginning, relationships are hard work. You zig while he zags. You want a cute little antique house by the water, while he wants a McMansion in middle of nowhere. But somehow you were able to put these differences aside and stay together year after year and decade after decade. Now, thirty plus years into your marriage your kids are grown and out of the house (hopefully) and you and your husband are at what may be a major crossroads in your relationship.

The thirty year mark can be a turning point in one’s marriage for a variety of reasons, If you married in your early 20s you are now in your early 50s. Many people in this age group are working harder than ever in order to be able to retire before 70, while others who may have excelled career-wise at an early age are contemplating an early retirement or have already left the workforce. Other women who have played the role of stay at home mom may now be considering entering the workforce and going back to school in order to acquire new skills. Don’t kid yourself, these types of career stresses and lifestyle changes can have a serious impact on your relationship.

However, career issues are only one of many problems that can rear their ugly heads at this stage of your marriage. Many people who said they would try to “stay together for the kids” have to face the fact that the kids are gone and that the time has come to seek a more fulfilling relationship. Many other women, who are still desperately in love with their husbands despair because they feel neglected and disconnected from the men they love. As you can imagine these numerous factors can often lead husbands and wives to decide to go their separate ways.

Surprisingly, these mid-life marital issues are rarely discussed and certainly not emphasized in too many of the popular marriage and relationship advice books out there, so it is easy to believe that you are alone in feeling uncertain about the future of your marriage. This is not the case as these issues are very, very common.

While we can’t provide you to the answers for all of your mid-life marital dilemmas in one blog post, here are a few pointers to help you keep your marriage on track after the 30 year mark.

Tip #1 – Keep your husband lusting after you

Lets be honest, a marriage without a spark of desire isn’t going to be as rewarding as you deserve it to be, so this matter of making him lust after you really is important. And while this may seem silly to you if he hasn’t been lusting after you for a long time now, but the good news is that in most cases that desire you used to feel can still be revived if you go about this properly. So what is the trick? Well dressing in sexy outfits and offering him hot oil massages can’t hurt, but the way that you interact with him doing day-to-day stuff is actually even more important. A lot of techniques for getting your man to desire you like he used to can be found in standard dating guides, and most of that material is actually pretty effective. If you are looking for a good place to start is James Bauer’s What Men Secretly Want program. You can watch a video review of the course below.

Tip #2 – Look at your relationship with “fresh eyes”

Everybody who is ever been married knows that to make it work, you have to work hard at it. If you’ve been feeling jaded about the way that things have been going, take a little time off by going on a little mini-vacation (or a full fledged vacation if you can swing it) and then come back to your relationship with fresh eyes. Sure, many of your friends may have failed relationships, and they may be subtly pressuring you to leave your husband because they want your companionship, but is that really in your best interest?

You may have stopped believing you’ll ever have the relationship that you want with your husband, and you might be tempted to give up and try to find somebody better, or even swear off love forever. But who wants that? There is a reason you’ve been with this man for thirty years now. It’s easy to get down on hime becasuse of all the little things he does that annoy you, but try to focus on the good things in the relationship, and think about how lucky you actually are.

Tip #3 – Keep the relationship fun!

Its easy to get on each others nerves if all you do is sit around the house, and go out to the same restaurant every week over and over again, so do yourself a favor and switch things up. Go to the zoo, pack a picnic lunch, or if you are feeling up for it go on a hike or camping trip together so that you can enjoy each others company in a different type of environment. One particularly fun activity is to recreate a date that you went on early on in your relationship. This can bring back a flood of wonderful memories and get you husband remembering all of those warm and passionate feelings that he felt when you two first got together.

You don’t need to do anything too elaborate here. Just try to do new things together as much as possible. Other ideas include taking an art or cooking class together. Learning yoga, meditation, and even tantric methods for making love can be a great way to strengthen your bond if you are the open minded type.

Lastly, be prepared to compromise and work hard. It won’t be easy and smooth sailing, but remember that trust and communication are key. Stop the mind games and start communicating – your relationship will thank you in the long run.

Dating Tips For Men Over 50

In the video above Dr. Phil shares a couple of good pointers for those re-entering the dating world after divorce that apply to people of any age or gender.

As a man in his 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond, you are likely to notice that there have been some major cultural change to the way that single court one another that have occurred over the past few decades. These days many women are insisting on paying their own way, and many other cultural norms we once took for granted have faded into oblivion.

This being the case, here are a few quick dating tips that may help you have a more successful dating experience this time around:

Tip #1 – Don’t compromise your integrity to fit in.

If you’ve been out of the dating scene since the 60s or 70s, you may feel overwhelmed by how much things may seem to have changed. This being said, it is important to keep a strong hold on your integrity, rather than changing who you are in an attempt to attract a woman. Yes, many modern women will tell you that they like “sensitive” guys and men who are in touch with their feelings, but that doesn’t mean that you need to start crying at movies or writing love poems in order to win the heart of a new lady. Instead, stay to true to who you are. Integrity is a characteristic women a wildly attracted to, and it is something that is woefully lacking in today’s modern society.

Tip #2 – Educate yourself.

As an older guy you may feel like you already know a lot about women, and the thought of educating yourself about this subject by reading books and such can seem like a huge waste of time. However, the truth is that no matter how much you know, there is always more to learn on your path to complete mastery. So do yourself a favor and read a book or two my a certified “dating expert” who has been in the field meeting and dating attractive women while you’ve  been focused on other matters. Perhaps the new Obsession Formula from leading pick-up artist Adam Lyons will be just the thing to help you attract a new girlfriend or wife who is even better than your last one!

Tip #3 – Date in your age range.

A lot of older guys get it in their heads that they should date much younger women. I’m talking about guys in their 70s and 80s who want women in their 20s and 30s. There are a lot of reasons why guys may think they want a girlfriend this age, including the fact that these much younger women are typically much fitter, and more energetic than their older counterparts. Unfortunately however many guys who want to date women this age overlook the many drawbacks to such a relationship. One of the biggest issues is the fact that the majority of young women are simply unwilling to even consider the idea of dating a man who is older than their father or even their grandfather. Perhaps this could work in some third world country, but in the west, this just is not considered normal at all. Yes, there are some women who date men 25 or 30 years their senior, but there is almost without exception a significant financial component to these relationships. Just think about it, how many dirt poor guys in their 70s do you see with women under 50? Not many.

Also, you should consider the effect that a potential partner would have on your relationship with your children. Bringing home a new girlfriend who is close in age to your own daughter or son will inevitably make them feel uncomfortable.

Then there is also the issue of not having much in common with a woman under 40. A woman in her twenties or thirties is very unlikely to have the same interests and goals as a man in his 60s and chances are that her friends and family will discourage the relationship. Also, bear in mind that a majority of women in this age range will want to have children, so you need to decide whether you can or desire to start a new family at your age.

In conclusion, there is a lot to learn about dating in the modern world and I recommend educating yourself further on this subject. Just remember to stay true to who you are, and don’t get obsessed with the idea of dating a woman much younger than you when there are so many more mature, intelligent, and attractive older women looking for a guy like you.


What People Over 50 Need To Know About Herpes

herpes-doctorBack in the good old days, people didn’t talk much about STD, herpes, genital warts or those types of things. They were considered to be rather unpleasant topics, the sort of things one would only discuss with their doctor.

However, the fact remains that a huge number of seniors have herpes, and this reluctance to discuss the disease really isn’t helping anyone. Because herpes stays in the body for life (according to most doctors) what many older folks are finding is that they are coming down with herpes outbreaks even though they never knew that they had it living inside of them. I know, it sounds crazy, but it’s true. You see, if you have a strong immune system, then you may go years or even decades without a single outbreak, and then one day, out of the blue you have a bunch of itchy little herpes sores!

The following is a little bit gross, but it is important information that you need to know if you think that you or a loved one may have herpes. Of course the most important thing to do is to get in to see a doctor who will be able to provide you with a complete plan to treat your herpes if you do indeed suffer from this condition, but these tips may prove useful in the meantime.

Here’s how to tell if you have herpes:

  • Your skin itches and tingles… and you may even experience a painful burning sensation, usually for a couple of days – right before you see blisters on your skin.
  • Blisters form on your skin.  These sores are usually painful, and are filled with fluid.  When the skin breaks, the fluid leaks out, and a crust is formed.  The sores usually heal within a week or so.

There are two types of herpes – oral herpes, or HSV-1, and genital herpes, or HSV-2.  With the former, you usually see the sores on your lips or mouth. Sometimes, they may appear anywhere on the face or on your tongue.  It is not uncommon to see these blisters someplace else on your skin though.

With genital herpes, you will see the blisters on the intimate parts of the body: anus, buttocks, vagina, or penis.  Similar to oral herpes, these blisters can also materialize anywhere on the skin.

You may also experience the usual symptoms of influenza: fever, sore muscles, or inflamed lymph nodes/glands – usually on the neck (for oral herpes) or the groin (genital herpes).
In the case of genital herpes, you may find it difficult to urinate.

You may develop an eye-infection, medically referred to as herpes keratitis. When the virus affects the eyes, you tend to be very sensitive to light. It can be uncomfortable and it can be accompanied by a gritty sensation and discharge and is downright painful.  Left untreated, scarring of the eye may occur, leading to cloudy vision, and sometime, loss of sight.

Don’t worry though, so long as you get in to see a doctor, chance are he’ll get you fixed up in no time flat and get you on a treatment plan to reduce your suffering.

Making The Most Out Of Your Retirement

fit-seniorSenior living is a subject that is not discussed very often, or at least not quite as often as it should be. The truth of the matter is that more than ever, people are living longer lives as compared to previous generations going all the way back to thousands of years ago. This can be attributed to the body’s intrinsic ability to adapt to its environment, and of course to advancements in research, technology and medicine as well which has allowed us to find new ways to heal the body’s illnesses as well as employ better ways of preventative care. With this in mind, let us take a closer look at how you can enjoy retirement and make the most of it.

First of all, what you want to do is to keep busy. Now is the time to go on that vacation you have always dreamed about when you were younger and could not afford it or perhaps you just did not have the time. But of course, you cannot go on a holiday forever. What you want to do now is to find meaningful ways to stay occupied even as you are retired from a regular job. This can mean engaging in a hobby such as gardening, coin collecting, or even taking over chores around the house. No matter what activity you choose to engage in, be sure that it also provides you with an opportunity to socialize with people.

Keeping occupied when you are at a more advanced age is absolutely crucial so that you stay physically active and mentally stimulated. This will keep you healthy all around and keep you from experiencing deterioration in any sense, for the time being at least.

Another way to ensure that you enjoy retirement is by creating a bucket list. If you’re physically, mentally and financially able, do your best to cross off items on that list throughout the months and years ahead.

It might also be a good idea to consider entering a senior living facility if you do not feel confident about your ability to care for yourself (if you live by yourself), or perhaps your family members cannot accommodate you. These days, there is no shortage of high quality senior living facilities that are actually more similar to holiday lodges or resorts. This is simply an option to consider.

Last but not least, consider getting a pet. Study after study has shown that interaction with an animal is extremely powerful in boosting a person’s spirits significantly.